Comic relief holiday style (or something along those lines)
So most of you are aware this blogger will be home alone (no cool happenings like the movie thank you) on Christmas. I’m not allowing the Santa-don’t-love-you-anymore mentality to take root, hell, I force myself to sing at least one Carol a day. Sort of like a holiday brainwashing technique.
I will admit to skipping over the Twelve Days of Christmas song because the “..my true love gave to me..” part always causes a meltdown requiring me to pull off the road and redo my mascara. The Little Drummer Boy also is not part of my caroling routine as it is flat out boring. I have been amusing myself in other ways as well.
I have managed to toss up a few bits of Holiday cheer at the homestead. (Brace yourself for magical splendor of the holidays, FPP style)
Laughing at the gifts other’s receive while they are all giggly and full of mirth.
Allow me to share a few:
“Me and my boyfriend have been dating 7 months and he bragged for MONTHS about how he was getting me the best Christmas gift ever. I was soo excited, and when I opened the present I saw a big camera cord to hookup together so we could skype….. I thought he was legit kidding, nope.”
“An old friend (previous pastor) told me he got a Rubik’s cube one year as a gift. Not bad…except that he’s colorblind.”
“A pair of ear-rings that had been previously worn – they weren’t on a card or in a box but were wrapped in toilet roll!”
“At the fourth-grade Christmas grab bag in Mr. Winnie’s class, I unluckily picked the very last number and had to watch, painfully, as my classmates went up one by one and selected one awesome toy after another.
I’m talking the hottest G.I. Joe figures and Micro Machines!
When it was finally my turn, all that was left was this little red plastic Barrel of Monkeys game, which at the time seemed equivalent to a box of pencils.
The worst was having to fake-play the game by myself afterward — didn’t want to offend my mystery gift-giver — while my buddies zoomed around the room with their cool toys.”
“A box of chocolate-covered pretzels..so OLD they had ‘mealy worms’ in them, (and even THEY were DEAD)”
As the holiday inches closer, I will continue to look for the comic relief so on the “ACTUAL DAY” I don’t lay out in the back yard amid reindeer poo yelling “WHY Santa, I always left you fresh squeezed OJ not sour milk like the other kids”.
It’s all good, at least I have a date for New Years!!!